THE DOG DAYS OF SUMMER

Sarah refuses to ride in Kentucky any more.  Gene would love to refuse to ride in Kentucky any more.  And I can’t say I blame them.

Let me digress.

About a week ago we ran into another Trans Am cyclist (I love using the lingo!) heading west.  She joined her warnings to those we’d previously heard and labeled exaggeration about the viciousness of the dogs in Kentucky.  But this time she showed us the scar on her leg that had required an emergency room visit and antibiotics.

That day I went to WalMart and bought out their supply of pepper spray.  You know, that stuff every parent wants their single daughter to carry when she moves to New York City, but that’s illegal to sell in New York, but that’s available everywhere in Kentucky.

At WalMart it’s sold in the gun department.

Imagine this Northeastern liberal pacifist who won’t even allow her kids to have toy guns, going into the gun department, and shopping right next to the holsters and sights.  It was a surreal and extremely disturbing experience for me.

First there were the feminine items – pink holsters, pink edged camo, pink knives, and best of all the pink guns.  Then there was the big unshaven guy buying ammo.  Then I had to pay next to the mother buying a rifle for her all of ten year old son.

I’m surprised I didn’t clutch my head and run screaming from the store, or worse yet confirm their worst fears about commie socialist tree-hugging New Yorkers by launching into a tirade about the dangers of easy access to weapons.

But I kept my outnumbered head, quietly paid for my pepper spray, and calmly walked out of the store.  Of course, inside I was lecturing vociferously as I sprinted away faster than an Olympic athlete going for the gold medal.

The very next day Gene had to use the spray.  And the next.  And the next.  Then came today, when he and Sarah were chased by a pack of three dogs.  As luck, or the canny hunting sense of animals left to their own devices, would have it the biggest went after Sarah.

And as any father would, Gene unloaded everything in the spray at him and they rode away as fast as their shaking legs would carry them.  But Sarah was really traumatized and was still shaking when I caught up with them twenty minutes later.

As I listened to their story my mind went back to the advice of the salesman at WalMart when I asked him about the safety of using the spray on a dog.

"Pepper spray, huh?" he said looking me in the eye before he matter of factly counseled, “I’d get a gun.”

Right now this New York commie socialist liberal tree-hugging pacifist protective mother is seriously considering his advice.

For Gene's very different view of the same journey, check out his blog at www.ConnorsArmy.blogspot.com
To learn more about Connor's Army go to www.ConnorsArmy.org
To see exactly why we're doing this go to www.SunriseDayCamp.org
To make a tax deductible donation go to https://www.wizevents.com/register/register_add.php?sessid=1809&id=1056

WOMAN TO WOMAN

Today I got to live out my future in animation.

And at least this time Disney didn’t kill off any parents, so I didn’t have to mourn my own demise.

Instead I watched that timeless battle between a mother who loves her children and does the invariably inadequate best she can for them, and a daughter on the cusp of womanhood who wants to find her own path in life without the encumbrance of someone else’s ideas.

As usual it led to botched spells, battles against evil, and life-changing self realization on both parts.

Ah … if only it were that easy.  In real life there is anger and hurt, judgment and recrimination, control and rebellion.  Finally, if we’re very lucky and very careful, there is communication and hard won reconciliation.  Then we get to repeat the whole cycle the next day.

I sat there in the dark with my own cusp of womanhood in the seat next to me and knew I was watching my fate as surely as the early worm knows it’s going to end up being regurgitated into a baby bird’s gullet.  And there was nothing I could do to stop it.

But I can delay it.

This trip has been the silver lining in the dark cloud of tweenaged angst.  Although there are still those hormonally induced emotional displays of anger wrapped in a strong sense of being misunderstood, as well as all the tears those emotions engender, there are so many more moments of willing openness touched by the last vestiges of childhood wonder and delight.

Sarah is indeed growing into a woman – I can see her body changing before my eyes; but it is the child in her who hugs me in delight as we watch a glorious sunset blooming over the desert, who reaches for my hand when we come upon a nest of baby birds, and who snuggles with me on those few mornings we can sleep in.

It is the child in her who travels in the back seat of the minivan oohing and ahhing as I call attention to the mountains outside our window, who wants me to tell her stories from my life as we drive through mile after mile of boringly similar scenery, and who shares a private look with me when the love of a daughter saves her mother in an animated movie.

But it is the adult in her who tells me how glad she is to be driving the back roads so she can really see the country, who apologizes when her emotions get the better of both of us, and who shares a private look with me when the love of a daughter saves her mother in an animated movie.

It is the adult in her who makes me a better woman.

Perhaps my fate isn’t so bad after all.

For Gene's very different view of the same journey, check out his blog at www.ConnorsArmy.blogspot.com
To learn more about Connor's Army go to www.ConnorsArmy.org
To see exactly why we're doing this go to www.SunriseDayCamp.org
To make a tax deductible donation go to https://www.wizevents.com/register/register_add.php?sessid=1809&id=1056